Life is beautiful, but life is hard as well. The people around us affect our lives more than we imagine, and sometimes they make it harder. It is commonplace to give someone importance when they act friendly or show affection.
Whether it is love or a best friend you made in college, people can hurt you in myriad ways. And the best part about betrayal? It comes in front of the people we love dearly and wholeheartedly.
People change gradually, which means they either drift away or leave, with or without a good reason. They leave you with a void, and life gets harder when your mind starts feeling their absence in big and small things.
Most individuals are unaware of this, but losing a lover, friend, or another important person has a more profound effect on their lives. If you are reading this, there are chances you have lost someone too, and it is affecting other significant aspects of your life.
So, how do you stop thinking about someone? To be honest, this doesn’t happen overnight. You have to be patient enough to let someone go and get your life back on track.
You have to give yourself some time to heal and reconsider your life decisions. Here are some genuine solutions for how to stop thinking about someone that might help you deal with the emotional trauma you are going through in a practical way.
Why Thinking About Someone All the Time is Bad for Your Mind?
According to Time, the brain is only 2% of the body, but it consumes as much as 20% of the daily energy your body uses. This means thinking alone consumes around 320 calories per day, and it increases when you are anxious and worried.
Thinking about someone not only drains your energy but also makes you lethargic. Your mind enters a continuous loop of denial and depression, wherein you stop focusing on what life offers. Instead, you focus on the painful aspects of life and lose all your spark.
If you are in the ripe years of your life, giving your mind and body to someone who takes you for granted leaves a bigger void that creates a long-lasting effect on your career, relationships, and overall happiness.
How To Stop Thinking About Someone? 8 Easy Steps!
If you want to stop thinking about someone, psychologists suggest you confront your emotions and get over them gradually. However, this process isn’t some overnight success. It requires some patience and attention. Here are 8 ways you can let someone go out of your life and mind forever and live in peace.
1. Analyze the Situation and Realize Your Self-Worth
When someone ghosts you or leaves you for an unspecified cause, your first and foremost action to take should be to thoroughly consider the circumstances.
The root cause of all the pain and mental trauma is emotions, and once you find out what exactly you are feeling, it serves as a great starting point.
No matter how kind and smart you are, you will find a handful of people who will end up hurting you, be it in a relationship or in a friendship.
It is human nature to latch on to someone you have spent your time with. Therefore, don’t run from the pain or the good memories you have shared with the person.
Ask yourself, ‘what could I have done differently?’ and ‘what made them leave?’
Remember, it is not always your fault. Sometimes, people have different priorities, and that’s okay. All you can do is try and accept that and take the first step towards moving on.
2. Cut Them Off of Your Life
One of the drawbacks of the internet is its ability to connect you with people no matter where they are. This is why cutting people off of your life has become difficult.
But if you're serious about getting rid of any thoughts related to them, you have to gather enough grit to block them from your socials.
This is clear science. If you want to avoid their presence, just avoiding them in real life won’t make much of a difference if you still follow them on social media and get the latest updates on their life.
Take a brave step and delete their phone number (if you can still remember it, just block it), unfollow them, or block them from all social networking sites.
If possible, unfollow their friends and common friends as well. And if you find it hard to do, just get away from social media for a while to have some peace of mind.
3. Try Positive Distraction
Positive distraction here means tricking your brain into interacting with new people that know nothing about the person you are trying to avoid. A positive distraction is really helpful if you are an ambivert or an extrovert.
If you are an introvert, it is suggested to distract yourself with some productive work that requires undivided attention.
More often than not, the loss of a loved one impacts other relationships as well. For example, the relationship you have with your parents and siblings might get impacted because of the sadness.
To combat this, figure out the people that really matter to you and count on them when you are having a meltdown.
This will allow you to release your emotions and find a shoulder to lean on. Oftentimes, you make long-lasting bonds with people when you are vulnerable and at your worst.
Counting on other people will also give you a sense of hope and give you an idea of how you deserve to be treated.
4. Feel the Pain and Let It Go
It's not the pain that hurts. It's the constant fear of being in pain that causes all the mental trauma. Therefore, try your best not to run away from your present. Take accountability for what you are going through and accept the pain as it is.
The best thing about pain is it fades away with time. By giving yourself some time, you allow yourself to nurture and become a better person who knows how to get through the pain.
5. Try New Things and Allow Yourself Some Freedom
Trying out new things can be a relief for you when you are going through a lot. This can be a type of positive distraction. Artists use this technique to translate their pain into their best works, and you can do it too. Here is how you can do it:
- First of all, not everyone is a good writer, but pain adds to your words. To figure out what really happened and how you are coping with the pain, you can try jotting all your feelings down. Many writers started writing about their painful experiences, and that’s what made their writing cathartic and timeless. Some of these writers include Virginia Woolf, Franz Kafka, Sylvia Plath, etc.
- Start reading books. Reading is like therapy for so many many people. It takes you into a different world. But make sure the plot of the story doesn't correlate with you. It would be best to start with self-help books and fiction in the later stages of your emotional recovery.
- Try an adventure sport like paragliding, bungee jumping, or any other recreational sport. You can even go to an amusement park. Doing these kinds of things will give you a thrill and show you how beautiful and enjoyable life is. To detoxify your brain. You can even try playing sports or working out on your body. This will help you stay healthy and motivated at the same time.
- Choose a totally different hobby that you haven’t tried before. It would take a lot of your time mentally and physically and would certainly add to your personality. You can try out painting, dancing, playing an instrument, blogging, and anything you like.
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6. Accept Your Flaws and Give Yourself Some Time to Work on Them
Oftentimes, people leave us because of the way we are, and it is okay because, with time, people outgrow each other, and leaving is the only practical option for each other’s sake.
This doesn’t mean you are worthless or anything. No one is perfect, and not everyone is loved by every single person on this earth.
Therefore, it is best to acknowledge your shortcomings and flaws and work on them. It could be anything. Give yourself some time to heal and work on your area of improvement.
7. Learn from Your Mistakes
The sole benefit of making mistakes is that you are less likely to repeat them in the future. What is gone is gone; all you can do is accept the mistakes you have made so far and learn from them.
Draw out essential life lessons from your mistakes, and that’s how you finally stop overthinking.
8. Practice Mindfulness and Forgiveness
Few people are adept at managing their thoughts and emotions. Not many people know how to control their minds and their emotions. This is why you should practice mindfulness.
It comes with practice. You can control your thoughts and meditate to control your emotions. To get unaffected by people and things, you can also follow the stoic school of thought.
And lastly, learn to forgive people even if they haven’t. Forgiveness is underrated, but it does lighten the weight off your chest, certainly.
Therefore, you should forgive people who left you in pain for no good reason and control your mind to avoid similar consequences in the future.
It is human nature to consistently think about the person who mattered much to you but is no longer around you. You can’t let go of people that easily, especially when they don’t give you any reason for what they left.
In this article, you learned 8 ways to stop thinking about someone. You can practice them step by step and get a better grip on your life.
Remember, no matter how strong you think you are, don’t hesitate to ask for help from your daily and close friends. They are always there to help you get through hard times.